2022 Pre-Draft Primer
It's that time of the year again fellas, the NFL season is right around the corner, which means all of us are chomping at the bit to get our hands on some of these athletic boys to call our own for this Fantasy Football season. Last season was full of intrigue, drama, heartbreak, euphoria, and everything in-between. Boof came out on top for the second year in a row, but now it's anyone's trophy to win, and it all starts with the draft, coming to a computer or mobile device near you, September 9th. And don't forget to join our pre-draft Marble Race to see which spot in the first round Josh West will be drafting his TE, along with discussing some potential rule changes, and having some good old fashion hijinks with the crew. Now, without further ado, let's jump in!
Welcome Booya Stephen
Stephen will be taking the place of our fallen brother, Will Reno. We reached out to Reno for a comment on the situation, to which he replied, "I don't have your number saved. Who am I talking to?". In the wake of Reno's departure, ownership has signed a 5-Year, $0 Million deal with Booya (includes trade kicker). Stephen will be a welcome addition to the Kolkata Fantasy League, and we look forward to his contribution for years to come. Unless he sucks.
Offseason News
It's been an eventful offseason, so let's get caught up with our bruisers in the big leagues.
Deshaun WantsSome: The biggest story this offseason has been the ongoing legal dispute between the NFL and Deshaun Watson. Watson (not to be confused with IBS Watson) left the Texans and has been clouded with controversy ever since. As a professional athlete, physical therapy is very important, and Deshaun has taken that to the next level, with over 30 personally appointed massage therapists that he found on WebMD and Instagram. Seem's innocent enough! The only little oopsie that cropped up is that Mr. Watson thought that "Massage" was code for "I get to rape you". An honest mistake in his eyes, but it appears that the court of public opinion (SJW's) has deemed this 'inappropriate'. After a Judge decided that Watson will serve a six-game suspension, the NFL and Roger Goodell appealed, and we are still waiting for official repercussions of Deshaun Watson's south mistakes.
In the midst of all this, the Cleveland Browns sat down and had a serious conversation with their QB, Baker Mayfield. Management gave it to him straight, "If you're a real man, why haven't you done something cool like sexual assault", thus proclaiming Baker an official baby boy, and acquiring a real gamer in the form of Deshaun Watson. Baker said "waahh" and didn't want to play or do Progressive commercials in the Brown's house anymore. So they shipped him off to Carolina.
Brady's Back, Alright! Tom Brady thought long and hard about his future after a disappointing (by his standards) end to the season in 2022. After much prayer and thought, Tom decided it was time to hang up his cleats, and spend some time with his family.
Then he got home and found out his wife has more money than him, and his son didn't want to kiss on the top lips anymore, and that's when Brady threw on his New Balance's and ran straight back to Raymond James Stadium to beg for his job back.
Broncos Country, Let's Ride: Russell Wilson has had a long and successful tenure with the Seabirds, but after a decade in the PNW, Russ was simply fed up with all the rain and needed a change. Wilson ends up with the Broncos in the Mile High City, where the altitude will decrease the time it takes for him to boil a pot of water, thus increasing his potential to efficiently cook. Courtland Sutton and Jerry Jeudy have to be happy with the upgrade over Teddy B and Drew Lock, who both suck.
From Cheetah to Dolphin: Tyreek Hill, the infamous speedster, has driven DC's to madness over the past couple years, teaming up with Patrick the Frog to put up some monster numbers and insane performances. After contract negotiations reached a standstill in Kansas City because Andy Reid was busy eating BBQ, Tyreek signed with the Miami Dolphins, where he will hope that Tua can throw the ball in his general vicinity.
Davante go somewhere else: As QB Aaron Rodgers future hung in limbo earlier this offseason, star WR Davante Adams made the difficult decision to leave the night life and splendor of Wisconsin, and heads to Las Vegas, where he re-unites with fellow Fresno State Alum, Derek Carr. After Henry Ruggs III left the team because he did a vehicular homicide, the Raiders welcome a much needed piece to their receiving corps with one of the best in the business. At the beginning of the offseason it's not what most expected, but Aaron Rodgers is still a Packer, and Davante Adams is also a Packer (of bags).
Kyler's Bizarre Contract: Out in Arizona, Kyler Murray has been antsy for a new contract, even though he has not brought much tangible success to the revamped Cardinal's under Kliff the Biff Kingsbury. Kyler was seen fuming one day on his way out of Baby GAP in downtown Phoenix, when he couldn't afford the new drip after he blew his earnings on CoD loot boxes. The team and Kyler agreed on a deal, but it included a strange stipulation that essentially made sure Murray finished his homework before he could play any video games. Kyler made an attempt to counter that the Cardinals exclusively play Thursday Night Football, so he wouldn't miss Double XP weekends, but the team refused. After the contract stipulation received some negative media attention, the Cardinals removed that part of the contract, and Kyler was elated when he heard the news from one of his buddies in Discord.
Draft Resources
Get yourself ready for the 2022 season with some helpful links below. We need everyone to be as competitive as possible, and if required, we need to be prepared for some collusion to keep Boof out of the Championship this year. It simply has to be done.
