LEAGUE STANDINGS

THE BYEPOCALYPSE: This week provided unique challenges for our travellers, as there were 6 NFL teams on BYE this week, with most of them being fantasy-heavy teams as well. This led to some truly wacky lineups, managers scrambling for players, starting empty roster spots, and just general debauchery all around. Due to these circumstances I will preface each matchup with notable players inactive for the week, and try to reflect the point swing from the missing players average output.

Game Results

MingusBluesBoys 144.74 - 67.94 Jtopia FC

MBB: J. Allen, Claypool, E. Sanders | -11.06

JFC: D. Cook, J. Herbert, K. Allen | -30.54

There have been many losses this year where Jay has just had too accept that the universe is against him. Close games, but just falling short. This was not one of those games. The Bye week did hit the Football Club pretty hard, not only because of the lost players, but predominantly because of their paltry backups. It was a solid day for Mingus all the way around, and despite the BYE week, almost every player scored in double digits, no King Henry dominance needed! Just an unfortunate week for the Football Club, and with the season's lowest score and a 1-6 record, Jay's season may be more about spoiling other's playofff hopes at this point.

MC Raw Dogs 125.9 - 134.38 Boofs Beefy Boys

MCRD: Zeke, J. Jefferson | -22.3

BBBB: A. Ekeler, D. Johnson, T. Law | -12.38

This was a barn burner, with both teams having pretty solid weeks. Something to note for this matchup, which can be seen as a trend overall this week, is that the real difference here is depth, as we see by the BYE week points lost. Boof's Boys are looking pretty terrifying right now, as some bonehead gave him Alvin Kamara and his team is loaded. Still, The Raw Dogs made some great plays, like the decision to roll with D'Ernest Johnson, who shined in his first career start. They are looking formidable, and the top Dogs in the East.

Pup N' Suds 115.02 - 69.18 Boob Plowers

PNS: No one (?????) | +0

BP: K. Cousins, Mattison | -15.6

I'm not sure what sort of deal with the devil Connor made to not have a single person on BYE this week, but honestly, the Boob Plower's can't even blame that for their loss. It was just an absolute stinker of a week for them, and it didn't help that the Jet's Defense was actively trying to help the other team score. The Pup N Suds continue to try to keep their season alive by picking up a key victory, while Boob Plowers have now gone two weeks without plowing any boob.

Guy Myers 126.48 - 105.32 Chafey's Buff Boys

GM: Najee, A. Cooper, Bills | -2.4

CBB: Dak, CD, J Rob | -33.5

The Myers men vs the Chad Chafey's may just be the most messy lineup I've ever seen in a matchup, with 6 combined BYE week holdouts and 7 Injured players. Each team's bench did not score a single point. It was feast or famine for the Buff Boys, with Kupp and Swift having big games, but just about everyone else doing almost nothing. Meanwhile, Guy Myers, had a much more balanced attack, with consistent scoring across the board. The elephant in the room remains to be Sam Darnold's performance, and Carter quietly deleted all mentions of his Darnold affiliation from his Intagram Bio, we will keep an eye on this situation

Tim Teboner!! 121.32 - 149.28 Staten Island Jokers

TT!: A. Thielen | -5.4

SIJ: M. Williams, D. Knox, Diggs | -12.1

Despite missing some key pieces at the position, it was the WR group who stepped up BIG time for the Jokers in this one. Ja'Marr Chase continues his stellar Rookie season, and Scary Terry showed out as well. The fall from dominance for the Chiefs has impacted Teboner in a big way, with him heavily relying on Mahomes and Kelce, not to mention CEH going down as well. We may remember this as Reno's last game at the helm of the Teboners, as rumors of a coaching change have begun to stew.

The DOMS Report - A Mingus Production

“We can give up on this year, or we can fight to the death. You choose Spiderman!”

- Joker Will Reno

Here are this week's clown face losers.

• Miles Sanders left the Eagles game with an apparent ankle injury. His injury is a surprise since the Eagles give him less carries or touches per game than smokes Jared buys in a 25 minute game of turbo.

• Josh Jacobs left the Raiders game with a chest injury, but after the bye week, he is expected to make an immediate return. The injury is said to have been caused when a disgruntled Gruden snuck into the locker room and stuck a ketamine-laced goop (by Gwyneth Paltrow) vibe sticker on the inside of Jacob’s shoulder pads.

• Zach Wilson suffered a knee injury and did not return to the Jets lineup in week 7. He should miss 2-4 weeks. The Jets are already struggling to do anything this year, and this just makes their year much harder. Maybe they should take a page out of the Eagles playbook and go get Mark Wahlberg in a tryout to be the new face of their franchise.

• New England lost their talented TE Jonnu Smith to injury in their game against the Jets. Maybe Mac Jones can call up Daddy Saban and see if he can pull some strings to get Tony Gonzalez out of retirement. If not, maybe Saban can send someone to New England in next years draft so they can have a “Give ball ______” scenario.

KOLKATA FANTASY - WE KNOW DRAMA

An unfortunate development has clouded this week for the Kolkata Fantasy League. Tim Teboners have admittedly had some devastating luck in the first half of the Fantasy season. From the Week 2 debacle with Lamar Jackson's kneeldown, to Week 4's 2 point heartbreaker, to having the most points against, it's been rough sledding for the Teboners. This led to some disagreement about the impact of RNG on matchup outcomes, and escalated to some questionable trades/dropping of players. All in all, things got sour quickly and led to an outcome NONE of us wanted, and Will Reno has left the league.

Genuinely a dark day for the league, Reno, I apologize if we made you feel unwelcome or overreacted to your concerns. You will be missed and are always welcome back. In the Meantime, Reno's Zombies will take field in place of the Tim Teboners.

Connor's Meme of the week